Self Care Dos and Don’ts

Article originally written fro Sparta Health.

Articles on ‘self-care’ have probably been infiltrating your newsfeed during lockdown. Many of us probably believe that self-care includes “numbing behaviours, like drinking, eating, or surfing social media in excess” [1]. And, if we think that’s the case, we are far from correct. Gracy Obuchowicz, self-care coach, says that “most people approach self-care from the thought, ‘I’m going to make myself better,’ and that doesn’t work” [1]. She argues, instead, that self-care is about “allowing yourself to have a nurturing experience of life right now as opposed to when you work harder in the future” [1]. 

Fundamentally, self-care is about finding the time to centre yourself and do something that fills you with joy and happiness. Obuchowicz argues that if you practise self-care, you should wake up and feel better the next day. So, what actually classes as an act of self-care, and what doesn’t? 

The Dos:

Feel Your Emotions

Living and working during a pandemic is hard, and it will inevitably take its toll. First and foremost, you must process your feelings, and make time to do so [2]. Until you allow yourself to feel pain, fear, or stress, you are allowing it to consume you. Bottling it all up until you burst isn’t a healthy coping mechanism, even if it initially feels like you’re handling things. Tapping into your feelings and being reflective can be done in many ways. You could listen to an instrumental soundtrack, write in a journal, go for a walk, or even cook a meal. As Brea Johnson argues, “commit to knowing and validating your feelings” [2], and you’re already on your way to incorporating self-care into your daily routine. 

Know Your Limits

The first and most straightforward aspect of self-care is to recognise your limitations [3]. Understand your mind and your body, and notice when you start to flag. If you’re taking on too much, your mental well-being and workplace health will ultimately suffer. When you recognise that you’re taking on too much, the next step is to “figure out what can be done to slow down” [3]. Also, know that it’s okay to cancel plans if you’re feeling run down. You have to look after yourself, and if that means you need to have a night off and chill, then go for it! 

Beauty Sleep

Nothing beats waking up and feeling energised ready to take on the world, with birds chirping and the sun shining through your window. The reality is, for most of us, mornings are groggy and caffeine-induced. Sometimes it’s easier said than done, but try to get a good nights sleep. 

A lot of us are working from home now, and if your first Zoom meeting isn’t until midday, it is beyond tempting to snooze your alarm. President of Charlottesville Neurology and Sleep Medicine and author of The Sleep Solution, Christopher Winter, stresses that it is vital to stick to the same sleeping schedule. He says “sticking to the same wake time and bedtime are crucial aspects of self-care, because those contribute to sleep quality” [4]. And, as we all know, low sleep quality leads to a sluggish, unproductive day. If you are tired, Winter recommends you “aim for a 20-minute power nap, and set an alarm for it” [4], which ensures you don’t over-sleep, and will leave you ready to tackle the day. 

Spark Your Joy

And finally, do the things that make you happy. Be it knitting, cleaning or running, do it. Whatever sparks your happiness, make time for it. The most important thing is to allow yourself to find joy in those simple things. As Elizabeth Millard says, “self-care is actually making yourself a priority in an everyday way… It’s about finding healthy ways to comfort yourself, set priorities, stay connected, and create structure” [4]. 

The Don’ts: 

Spend a Fortune 

Roughly 35% of people believe that self-care is only achievable “for those with enough money”[1]. Do not buy into the idea that self-care is all about a luxury weekend away, or a fancy meal. Spending more than you can afford on self-care will become a massive form of stress in your life[2]. It will deter you from practising self-care and will be completely counter-productive. 

Contrary to popular belief, excess spending is not self-care; if anything, it’s a surface-level distraction from deeper-rooted issues. Real self-care, at its core, is taking time to tune in to the simple everyday things that bring you joy or ease. 

Feel Embarrassed

It’s okay to feel like you need a night off. If the burn-out happens when you’re out, don’t feel embarrassed if you have to leave early. Your mental health should always be your number one priority. What we all fail to realise is that everybody struggles somewhat with their mental health, which means they will completely understand if you need to reschedule or cancel a plan. The world won’t end if you miss that drink at the pub tonight, but your well-being will suffer if you push yourself beyond your limitations. 

Use Time as an Excuse 

Time and self-care do not have to go hand-in-hand. Yes, of course, taking time off to focus on yourself is a great way to practice self-care. But if you have a fast-paced, busy life, you can still incorporate self-care. Health expert Dr Wayne Jonas says that whilst we are all under the assumption that acts of self-care are something we have to make time for, we are “spending time on them anyway but not doing them in a way that keeps them healthy”[1]. Jonas goes on to say “we all sleep and move and eat and have ways of addressing stress in positive or negative ways that come up every single day, so the most important part of self-care can be built into a routine habit that you’re already spending time at”[1]. Essentially, we need to recognise those small acts of self-care which are already part of our day to day lives. Time is no excuse; self-care is achievable for even the busiest of bees. 

Self-care is unique to each person. Only you know what makes you smile, and you deserve to be happy! Hopefully, now that you know the dos and don’ts of self-care, you can incorporate it into your life and improve your mental and workplace health. 

References 

[1] Cassata C. What Is Self-Care? [Internet]. Healthline. 2019. 

[2] Johnson B. The Three Non-Negotiable Do’s And Don’ts Of Self-Care [Internet]. Thought Catalog. 2018 [cited 2020 Oct 1]. 

[3] Baratta M. Self Care 101 [Internet]. Psychology Today. 2018. 

[4] Millard E. 11 Self-Care Tips for Working From Home | Everyday Health [Internet]. EverydayHealth.com. 2020 [cited 2020 Oct 1].